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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27569074">Catch Me When I Fall</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nizhoni93/pseuds/Nizhoni93'>Nizhoni93</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outer Banks (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad things happen but they get better, Child Abuse, Devotion, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Relationship, F/M, Fights, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Healing, Humor, Hurt JJ, Idiots in Love, Intense, JJ Whump, JJ loves Kiara, JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)-centric, Kiara loves JJ, Kooks (Outer Banks), Love, Luke is a bastard, Pogue Life, Protective JJ, Protective John B, Protective Kiara, Protective Pope, Secrets, Teen Romance, The Pogues, They're the Pogues and they'll definitely be having fun too!, they're already dating</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:28:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27569074</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nizhoni93/pseuds/Nizhoni93</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke takes things too far one night and not only hurts JJ, but steals back the wedding ring JJ’s kept sacred all these years. The one and only keepsake he still has left of his mother. How far will Kiara and the Pogues go to mend their broken friend and get the ring back for him? What will happen to Kiara when she finds herself caught in the crosshairs of a dangerous feud between father and son? </p><p>Pulled into a torrent of tragedy and treasure hunting, she and JJ are just barely keeping their heads above the surface. They’re going to need each other and the Pogues more than ever. But as one bad decision leads to the next and secrets keep getting confused for promises, it all feels like their bound to capsize inevitably.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>JJ &amp; Kiara &amp; Pope &amp; John B. Routledge, JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Catch Me When I Fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi there friends, I honestly don't even know where this fic came from. Truthfully, I probably shouldn't even be starting a new multi-chapter story when I still have so many stories on the go. It's just, I was rewatching Outer Banks today and that car scene broke my heart all over again. Guess you could say all that angst resonated into what you're about to read below! This story is going to have some dark moments, and I'll be sure to add tags and warnings as they come along. That said, it's also going to have a ton of light hearted and soft Pogue moments too, because this group is to wonderful not to completely deserve all the happiness they can get! So don't be discouraged, I'll try and stay as true to the characters as I can! Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The thing is, it's his mother's wedding ring. A scraped and worn copper band he wears on his left pinky finger so he'll feel the initials of his parents' history against his skin. It's a symbol of better times and a JJ staple if there ever was one. Not even his shark tooth necklace—<em>her favourite, cause she can curl her fingers around the twine like a lasso, seize him into a kiss and lick the ocean salt from his sinful and </em><em>sun scorched lips</em>—is as sacred to him as that ring is. She's never even see him take it off. <em>Not once.</em> Has never known a JJ without it. Frankly it's strange, almost wrong, to think that there's a part of JJ's body she hasn't seen. A part he so willingly keeps unexposed to the sun...a love that's only second to Kie.<em> Or well...it had better be. </em></p><p>She thinks the ring is solid proof that her boyfriend is a stronger person than she is. In his shoes, there's no doubt Kiara would've pitched it into the ocean a long time ago. Let it be swallowed by the surf and sand, forever lost with Royal Merchant where it belongs. Not still housed on JJ's finger since as far as Kiara is concerned, every inch of JJ Maybank is valuable piece of real estate and that ring is a far from worthy tenant.</p><p>If you asked JJ, <em>and she does</em>, he'd say the ring is worth more than the so-called treasure John B keeps losing countless nights of sleep over. To Kiara, it's a different story all together. All she sees is corroded and forgotten metal; belonging to a bitch that gave zero fucks about him. <em>Her son</em>. The boy she left in the lurch.</p><p>And yeah maybe Kiara should cool it. It's his mom after all. JJ would hate that she's thinking these things about her.</p><p>But he's her best friend first and foremost. </p><p>The same boy who rules the waves like a damn Poseidon reincarnate. Who'll willingly eat Cap'n Crunch with orange juice simply cause he's too stubborn to reach a little deeper in the fridge and fish out the milk. Who always winds up wedged in the centre of the mattress with her because the pullout at the Chateau has a loose spring on one side and a snoring Pope monster on the other. The boy who crawls through her bedroom window after her parents have gone to sleep at night. Shushes her with his lips and laughter when she can't help the shameless moans that <em>he</em> so smugly provokes, reaching impossible depths inside her that only he can uncover.</p><p>The same beautiful boy Kiara holds and soothes and heals over and over because his mother couldn't be bothered to say goodbye or leave a note behind. There's just trauma left now; the angry shards of a broken family that JJ's compelled to step on, time and time again.</p><p>
  <em>That boy.</em>
</p><p><em>So no, she can't be okay with that. She can't make excuses and she sure as hell can't forgive. </em>Not like JJ already has, because when it comes to his parents she doesn't think he can help it.</p><p>Sometimes Kiara wonders why JJ hasn't cut ties a long time ago. <em>The fuck with his folks! </em>Start anew and all that.</p><p>It's in those moments of inadvertent ignorance when she disappoints herself the most, because she forgets how drastically different their lives really are even when it doesn't always feel like it. JJ exists in spades in almost every aspect of her life. Manifesting in the subtle and comforting ways they gravitate to one another. In the inherent compulsion to reach out and touch, knowing without a doubt that they can count on the other person to never be more than a hairbreadth away if they can help it.</p><p>It's strange, almost terrifying to be this wrapped up in someone. So much so, that you lose track of where you begin and he ends but you think it doesn't matter anyway because<em> in your eyes</em>, he's practically an extension of who you are now. That's how JJ makes her feel all the time, and why she finds herself constantly losing perspective.</p><p>The sad truth is, they're meant to be painted on opposite sides of a split canvas. JJ in scribbles and Kiara as the only dollop of colour against a neutral backdrop.</p><p>She may be an honorary Pogue by heart. But she still goes home to the neat and tidy Kook mansion, still has everything she needs at her disposal. And JJ is messy. He's lives his rough edged, wilder past on the surface. A blaring loose canon. <em>The no-good, trouble making punk from the wrong side of the Cut, right? </em></p><p>
  <em>Fucking JJ Maybank. </em>
</p><p>She forced to remind herself that they aren't the same.<em> Not in every aspect of the word</em>...because while Kie may feel trapped in her Kook bubble, JJ is just plain trapped. Period.</p><p>Everything he has left, it's all wrapped up in Luke, the only parent he's still got. Letting go of that, it's no so easy when you're a minor with no money, no job, no home and sure as hell, no support to fall back on. It's an eternal and internal battle only someone who's endured the kind of abuse JJ has experienced can understand, and so she checks herself pretty quickly when that thought comes to mind. Mentally bitch slaps her brain for ever thinking something so moronic and asinine.</p><p>JJ's not so cold, not so pessimistic or grudge bearing as she admittedly can be. His devotion is the forever kind—the kind that can't bolt or bruise. He endures because he's too good for them or for anyone who's ever looked at him the wrong way, labelled him or passed judgments without having a single clue whatsoever.</p><p>Kiara <em>sees him</em> and she knows better. Knows he's more vulnerable, more courageous and layered than his father or any Kook can ever understand. That's him, and he keeps going.<em> Going.</em> Indomitable. A reckoning of epic proportions.</p><p>The way he fiddles with the ring on his finger, turning it this way and that like it's never quite fit right. It's not his.<em> Not really. </em>And how can it be when it never stopped being <em>hers?</em> He'll always hold out hope that one day, <em>any moment now,</em> she'll come home. Only when he can return the ring to his mom face to face, will he be ready to take it off. </p><p>'Just once," he tells her,<em> "</em>I'll feel like I did something right. You know? Keeping it safe all this time. Maybe then she'd finally be proud of me Kie."</p><p>He deserves more than a ring. More than a sorry symbol of desertion. But so long as he keeps waiting, Kiara will stay by his side. Not because she agrees about the ring, not because she can fully understand, but because everyone needs someone to catch them when they fall. Even JJ Maybank.</p><p>...</p><p>Seeing JJ without the ring on for the first time, it's nowhere near what she'd hoped for. It's not liberating, not freeing in the slightest. It's the two of them sitting alone on the pullout, JJ shaking in her arms, his face half hidden in the crook of her neck and Kiara soothing circles into his back with a hand that won't stop trembling. <em>Barely holding them together.</em> It's John B on the line with Peterkin, "he can't get away with it this time!" cursing into the receiver as he paces the room. And a frantic Pope in the kitchen rifling through the freezer and shouting at them, "Hold on dude, I'm getting ice!" It's written especially in those horrible, ugly bruises festering on JJ's left hand and three broken fingers out of five, contorted beyond measure.</p><p>She leans back and grabs JJ's face, urging him up, <em>gingerly</em>, so she can examine him better. Can't be sure what other invisible damage Luke may have caused.</p><p>"Baby, look at me."</p><p>JJ's head is heavy and hobbles in her hold. He can't seem to catch his strength and that makes this entire situation all the more terrifying, because she's never seen him this far gone before. Never so blatantly outside himself. He's staring absently into the negative space over her shoulder like he's losing a battle to some invincible, beckoning void. Or, maybe it's just that he never crawled out of the void he was already in to begin with. <em>She doesn't know.</em></p><p>"Hey...hey...look at me JJ."</p><p>She steadies his head in her hands, enough so that her gaze can meet his. When he finally chances a glance in her direction, those ordinarily rapturous and magnetic eyes are staring back at her, looking dull and wistful. <em>There's blood crusting his lashes together.</em> And suddenly all she can think about is how a week ago she'd been rolling over John B's bed with laughter, damn near uncontainable because finally, after months of begging, JJ was actually going to let Sarah Cameron use mascara on him. Apparently in Sarah's words,<em>"your lashes are like inhumanly long JJ, it's practically criminal you won't at least let me try."</em></p><p>Afterward she remembers how he'd saucily batted his lids at her, completely dumfounding Kiara. Her thoughts only mustering one word in response, <em>pretty. </em></p><p>Like, So fucking pretty.</p><p>It took all Kiara's willpower not to hurtle herself across the room and keep from bumrushing him in that very moment in front of all their friends.</p><p>Now she snatches a quick glance up at the seeping culprit above his right eyebrow, a gnarly gash that she has no doubt will need stitches. She balls up the sleeve of the sweatshirt she borrowed from John B, pinches it between her fingers and reaches up to dab some of the blood away. The sleeve is soaked instantly and she regrets even trying because <em>yeah</em>, that's her boyfriend's blood on her hands and<em> fuck, </em>the only thing she can barely contain now is the bile that threatens to singe the back of her throat.</p><p>"Pope a towel!" She shouts over JJ's shoulder, and turns back to him, keeps holding his face between her palms. "Can you tell me where else it hurts?"</p><p>JJ doesn't answer, he's fluttering in and out of wakefulness and <em>shit, shit,</em> <em>shit,</em> this is so not good. His gaze is way to faraway from her right now. She can't stand it.</p><p>"Stay awake," Kiara urges, determined and forceful, swallowing the lump that threatens to expose her. She nudges him little. "I've got you, okay? JJ, you're safe now. I'm right here. We all are. But you have to stay awake for me." She's draws her thumbs gently over his face, smearing red across his cheeks but it doesn't matter right now. She's just praying the feel of their colliding skin will somehow ground him. Thankfully, he does look up. Blinks dazedly at her with eyes still red rimmed and glassy. She grateful nonetheless because he's responding and that at least means their making progress. </p><p>Pope shows up just then, a towel thrown over his shoulder and a plastic bag full of crushed ice at the ready. With lightening speed she snatches the ice from him, leans back a little so she can place the bag over JJ's swelling hand. He hisses as she does so and Kiara clenches her jaw. Has to bottle her anger with a wrathful message she's reserved just for Luke. It'll find it's way to him eventually, but in this moment, the only thing she's worried about is making sure JJ is taken care of.</p><p>Pope is nervous and fidgety, doting over JJ in the worst way possible. Somehow, his fussing has manifested into him trying to tie some kind of knotted and makeshift turban around JJ's head to plug up the cut. Kiara loses patience, shoos him off and unravels the Frankenstein towel display. With sharp and rigid movements, she folds the towel into a square and shoves it into Pope's chest with way more force than necessary. "Just hold it like this for him, that's all!"</p><p>He nods dumbly, ducking his chin like he's sorry he let her down and she feels instant regret plucking at her heartstrings. She has to remind herself, Pope's trying his hardest in a situation where he's just as scared and powerless as she is. In such a desperate time, she can't go losing her temper on her friend who's only trying to help. This isn't even about him or the stupid towel anyhow. It's about Luke and JJ and how she'll never fucking comprehend how any parent could ever be so cruel to their only son the way Luke keeps finding new ways to be. </p><p>She glances sombrely at Pope, passing a silent apology between them. Quirks her lips sideways in a closed-mouth, gracious, half smile that's far too sad to pass. But Pope understands regardless. He steps up, takes the towel and does exactly what she told him, carefully patting JJ's cut.</p><p>John B hammers over, tucking his phone in his back pocket as he approaches. He's still flushed and fuming, overcome by the unexpected and harrowing events still unfolding before them and what sounded to be a very heated call with the Sheriff. A rigid scowl plays blatantly on his lips. He runs a stressed hand through his thick, perfect head of sandy curls and says, "Peterkin's going to meet us at the hospital to take JJ's statement."</p><p>Kiara nods, relieved that they're not alone in this. Maybe JJ's going to finally get the help he needs.</p><p>Though clearly that's not how JJ sees it because he stiffens in her grip, suddenly and very soberly alert. He shakes his head at them and Kiara feels the fearful gooseflesh puckering on his skin. His eyes are blown wide, <em>owlish</em>, as he asserts, "nu-no police..." Voice shuddering and sounding on the verge of another break. His eyes dart between them and he's frantic, "guys I ca-can't...no police...you fucking promised!"</p><p>The three of them are torn, snatching nervous, uneasy glances. Pogues don't rat. Pogues don't betray. Pogues don't break promises. <em>But what happens when the promise stops making sense? What do you do then?</em> For that moment, time suspends as they're trapped in limbo, torn between their next moves and wondering whether they'll make the right one.</p><p>"Dude listen..."</p><p>It's John B who speaks first, and like the leader he is, he thankfully makes the choice for them, "You're going to the hospital at least, that's not up for discussion." And then he's tossing Pope the keys to start the van because in all the befuddling chaos, he's probably the only one with a clear enough head to safely get behind the wheel. Pope slams out the door, and John B crouches down beside them. He places a hand on JJ's shoulder and instinctively JJ flinches out of it. John B looks at Kiara, sad and hurting, but he tries again despite himself. Tempering his touch so JJ remembers he's in safe company. "It's got to end sometime JJ." John B squeezes his best friend's shoulder with protective reassurance, "We'll figure it out. Peterkin...she'll help us. Make sure your dad—"</p><p>"My dad goes away!" JJ turns and shakes his head. Narrows his eyes at John B and spits out a bitter and mocking laugh, "You have no clue man. Th-think DCS cares wh-where I'll end up after? Th-think they'll make us roomies?"</p><p>He rips his gaze away and then he's back on Kiara. "Kie please..." he tries and the words spill from his lips in a broken way that makes her weak...<em>completely boneless. </em>It's a moment that feels impossibly long. She has to blink out of it. Remind herself to get it together because, "<em>you can't surrender this time. Not when he needs you most.' </em>They've had this argument before, and time and again she caves. <em>When is she going to start being strong enough for the both of them? When is enough, enough?</em></p><p>She bites her lip at him, and because JJ has the uncanny ability to read her like a friggin open book, he realizes instinctively that she won't be budged. It has him more panicked than ever. <em>Desperate</em>. He trembling harder, shakes his head over and over. Kiara cups his cheek, and strokes his skin again, trying to calm him down. "Shhh JJ..." she coos softly, hoping to lull him to that safe place only they share. A place where maybe she'll get him to see reason. </p><p>"No," he tells her and Kiara can feel her hope unravelling into a million tangled seams.</p><p>"He took it..." JJ whimpers, small and weak. Everything JJ isn't. "He tu-took it. Kie..." And that's when JJ loses it completely. He drops his head back against her shoulder and cries, "...I-I'll never get it back if I tell now..."</p><p>Kiara screws her eyes shut and breathes deep. Barely balanced, teetering on a fine line of composure. She doesn't have to wonder because she already knows what JJ is talking about. She noticed the ring was missing the instant he came stumbling through the Chateau doors, because Kiara is so tuned into JJ's frequency that she's able to pick up even the tiniest, most inconsistent blips on his radar. No even someone like John B, who has years more friendship on her, could notice so fast. She hugs JJ against her and lets him cry heavy, hitching sobs into her chest where her heart is breaking underneath him. </p><p>She dares to glance down between them to find his hands, crumpled in his lap. She can still make out the pale, untanned band of skin where the ring once was. The glaring evidence that yet another precious part of JJ has been stolen from him. Ripped away. The worst kind of violation. Now that she's actually seen it for herself, his bare finger surrounded by sickening kaleidoscope of bluey, purple bruises it's not at all surprising to her that the only colour Kiara can distinctively make out under all of Luke's shameful ruthlessness, is red. <em>Blaring, violent, vengeful red.</em></p><p>John B is staring at her. Narrowing her down with a worried and unsettled expression like he's trying really hard to read her mind. Is troubled by whatever he's decoded. She doesn't care. He'll find her when they're alone later, will try to no avail to talk her out of it, but at this point she sees no other way around what's going to happen next.</p><p>
  <em>Kiara's hellbent. </em>
</p><p>That ring meant everything to JJ, and she doesn't care what it takes, because she'll fight Luke both tooth and nail to get it back for him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So what did you all think of the first chapter? I know it was a lot of angst and hurt right off the bat, but I promise every chapter won't always be like this. I'd really appreciate any feedback, so if you enjoyed please please please leave a comment, kudos or bookmark! I always appreciate your kind words and it always helps me improve my writing and keeps me motivated to keep writing more for all you wonderful readers! Thank you for reading and hope to hear from you!!! :-)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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